I'm trying to be spiritual, but I've had just about enough. With little more than "hello" I find myself enmeshed in another one of Ms. Church Ladys' holy diatribes. You know the type. You mention how nice the day is and they launch into "In the beginning was the Word..." Compliment them on a nice outfit and they aver how Jesus is their covering. "How are you today?" is met with "I'm the righteousness of God, Praise Jesus!"

Don't misunderstand me: I know that we're supposed to speak the praises of our Lord. What I'm coming against are the super-holy, always-on mega Christians we run into. Some are loud and boisterous, others demure and meek, but they have a common distinction: they act as if they got an extra dose of Jesus and you're missing a few gallons. I call them religibots- short for religious robots- and I used to get a little nervous in their presence.

Until recently, I didn't understand why these folks caused me so much frustration. I originally thought it was because of their assertion of spiritual superiority. But that wasn't it. Folks who are truly further along on the spiritual path don't look down on others- they encourage, inspire, try to make the trip easier for their fellow laborers.

Anyone who's familiar with my writing knows how important the concept of truth has become in my quest for inner healing. That being said, someone acting so contrary to scripture really shouldn't set me off. It's like insisting that the sky is purple. It's not and I refuse to spike my blood pressure trying to convince you of that fact. It's simply not truth.

Why did religibots frustrate me so? Because for such a long time, I was one. I wasn't speaking in tongues in Wal-Mart or dancing in the streets, but I was always on: prim and proper, crossing my "t's" and dotting my "i's" and if your alphabet was out of order, I just couldn't have too much to do with you. Shameful, but true.

These days I can sense when I'm in the presence of a bona fide, card-carrying religibot and I understand what they're feeling because I've been there. I'd like to share with you a few things I've learned about myself in this area. Perhaps it will help you deal with your religious robot or motivate you to cancel your club membership.

Though your lovable religibot moves heaven and earth to put forth a picture of spiritual superiority, this is only an act. There are huge gaps in her relationship with the Father and this outward show is literally a lifeline, supplying her with a connection to God that is desperately lacking. The following reasons are usually to blame:

UNRESOLVED EMOTIONAL ISSUES. A Christian with unchecked and unresolved pain has a huge barrier in her relationship with God. Though she may not be able to articulate it, there's a ticker tape constantly playing in her mind: " Where was God when I was raped, when my parents abused me, when my husband walked out......."

It's difficult to get close to a God who, you feel, watched your suffering without intervening. It becomes a vicious cycle: try to get close to God, then the questions start up again. That's why it's easier to be a religibot: just do the actions, and hopefully the feelings will follow. Only they don't and you must work harder, i.e. get more religious. This is the truth: the religibot doesn't really feel superior to you, she feels inferior but unable to get closer to God because of her issues.

If you are a religibot because of unresolved emotional issues, true inner healing is your only hope. Accepting the responsibility for where you are and doing the necessary work to free your mind is paramount. You can't freely receive from God otherwise. Pain can do two things: drive you from Him or draw you to Him. You decide your course.

POOR SELF IMAGE. It may be hard to see, but your religibot doesn't think a lot of herself. Sure, she's got the big hat and nice clothes, but you should hear the noise in her head all day. The condemning, nit-picking voice that insists she's not good enough, will never amount to anything, and constantly brings her salvation into question. You don't understand how she craves connection but doesn't know how to really be intimate with others. She's plagued by worry, doubt and fear.

These religibots have horrible self image. They've most likely heard others constantly telling them how unworthy they are and they've internalized this in the worst way. This abuse probably started very early in life and is now such a part of their psyche that they can't imagine that the statements are not true. The only time they feel halfway decent is in church, and they gotta get that feeling at all costs. So if it means making you feel like a little church mouse, so be it.

If you are this kind of religibot, let me pass on a phenomenal statement I once heard from a minister: learn to love yourself the way God loves you! If there's a wall between you and God (see #1), you must do your part in tearing it down. Until it's gone, you'll never be able to comprehend the magnitude of His feelings for you.

Then you must diligently pray and search the scriptures until this truth is real to you: that Christ loves you just as you are and more than you could ever imagine! You don't have to earn His love or clean yourself up. He's not concerned with your weave or weight or bad breath: just jump right in His lap! Take my word for it: that little buzz you get in church doesn't compare to the extravagant love God can lavish upon you.

IGNORANCE. These religibots aren't necessarily suffering from unresolved issues or poor self image, they just get so caught up in religious traditions that they make life hell for everybody around them. You know'em: if you don't wear white on second Sunday, they want you to go home and change, murder and fornication is ok, but child, don't mention divorce or abortion, then it's out with you!

Pants, make-up, hairstyles and jewelry become deciding factors when validating your salvation. They enact rules and regulations that even Jesus doesn't require and condemn folks to hell for stuff He's already forgiven. You go to them for spiritual comfort, and they beat you over the head with the Bible.

They condemn you for the very thing you're trying desperately to get delivered from, yet justify their own mess with "The Lord is still working on me" or "God knows my heart". They're argumentative and boisterous (they call it passionate) and if you cross them, they'll drive you to hell themselves.

These folks have allowed themselves to be deceived and are now on Satans' payroll. They've never had (or haven't had a recent) life-changing filling of the Spirit and as such, they've set themselves up as false authority. They know the Spirit isn't operating in them so they just assume it's not at work in you either. Bottom line: they know they're not living right yet feel compelled to keep you in line.

If this is where you are, know that the truth will make you free. If your personal truth is that you're further away from God than you thought you were, admit it, repent and get back on the train. If you've been running around acting like God couldn't possibly make a move unless He cleared it with you, admit it, repent and get back on the train.

If you are this kind of religibot, understand that you've confused church (the building) with church (the body of Christ) and fallen victim to man-made doctrines and traditions. You are closer to hell than you probably want to know. Repent, get up and get going! Don't allow yourself to be discouraged; you're in good company. The apostle Paul was this type of religibot and look what happened when he got on track.

Friends, life is too short and God is too good to spend a second away from Him unnecessarily. Religibotitis is a terminal disease. We can protect ourselves from infection by trusting God, seeking Him and being committed to inner healing and truth.